Q: Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers? One to shake it. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’ Joan Rivers (1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director. Mencken (1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist. List RulesVote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. A: A doberman pinscher. Always borrow money from a pessimist. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Lawyer One Liner Jokes. A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife, and a surprised mother-in-law. Why is everyone hating lawyers? A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! More information about formatting options. Check out these funny one-liners and best one-liner jokes. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. So they can park in handicapped zones? Funny Mother in Law Jokes Funny, Witty, Clean Mother-in law One-liners Will and Guy’s Favourite Mother-in-law Joke Short Mother in law Jokes Solomon Delivers Justice to Mother in Law More Clever, Witty and Funny Mother-in Law Jokes Sponsored Links ∇ Funny, Witty, Clean … Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. A big list of mother in law jokes! One's a spineless, poisonous blob. Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage Subscribe in a reader. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? Commit them to memory. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. They are funny. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? This joke may contain profanity. One to climb the ladder. Mother In Law Jokes. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Professional courtesy. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. Mother In Law Jokes and Puns. A. A: In the cemetary. Q: How does an attorney sleep? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. One to shake it. Q. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? H.L. A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. Brother In Law Jokes. So prepare your depositions and place your right hand on the holy book of your choice, because you’re going to laugh about lawyers like you’ve never laughed before after reading this list of lawyer one liners. Impress your friends. A good lawyer makes it last even longer. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Q: How does an attorney sleep? So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. These are the people that get us out of trouble most of the times. - I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. Family People Places House Mother-in-law Property. Famous One Liner Jokes. The other is a form of sea life. After all, when you’re elbow deep in cash from all the ambulance chasing you do, you won’t care what anyone says about you. A: Senator. A: In the cemetary. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print. A: Not enough sand. I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.Â. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. One to shake it. A: "Your honor. First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Q: How … Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. A: Retired. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Mon, 08/25/2008 - 12:59 — Asbestos Lawsuits (not verified), How to Annoy People, Long list of Oneliners. A: Just say "Fees!". These hilarious, clever, classic and witty one-liners will give anyone a good laugh! A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of feces on the wall." A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off. Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically. A: First he lies on one side, and then on the other. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: They both look good hanging from a tree. A: Lipstick.Â. Q: What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement? You need ice-breakers. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. Inside you’ll find a joke about lawyers for every occasion. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Q: What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney? A: Three. Home. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? asked the man. A: First he lies on one side, and then on the other. A: They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.Â. And don’t worry future lawyers, you can laugh at these jokes too. And one to sue the ladder company. I am over 18. And one to sue the ladder company. Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor? Vote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? Well it was very unfortunate..she tried to stand up but got dizzy and caught the curtains and ripped them. A: Take your foot off his head. A: His lips are moving. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: Three. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. of 50? Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? Lines and paragraphs break automatically. The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside. He won’t expect it back. Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances? A: not enough cement, Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture? Also, take a look at our Father In Law jokes as well as our other jokes categories. The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law." Enjoy these funny Mother In Law jokes and puns.